Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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