The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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