Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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