when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Come on in and take your pants off
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