I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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