Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
