Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
