End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
