i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize