Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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