Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he shaved USA in his pubs
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
