We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
