just come out here and I will go home with you...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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