So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
