I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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