help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
