she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize