Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
