i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
