does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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