very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He did a backflip because drugs
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