Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
