The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
its liver damage thursday
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
