She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
