we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
