Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize