I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
