I have demons in me.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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