Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
