u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Pappa wants mamma naked
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize