I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize