Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
