weddingsv make me drug and hornr
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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