If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
