summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
