Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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