She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
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