Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
