I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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