glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
