We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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