When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
