what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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