So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
