he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
