Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
