youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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