you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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