I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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