i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
