Porn is love you can see.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Everclear isn't food dammit
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
