youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
high people should be assigned attendants
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
