I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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