I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
one two three fourrrrnication!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
