grandma shit on top of the toilet
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
