is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
