my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Someone came in the potted fern
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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