the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
